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Timi's Thread

Post  Private Perineum on Tue May 12, 2015 11:56 pm

Because why not?
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Re: Timi's Thread

Post  Private Perineum on Wed May 13, 2015 12:00 am

Two of the latest originals recorded with one of my bands:

http://soundcloud.com/the-collides/at-sixes-and-sevens
http://soundcloud.com/the-collides/ive-seen-it-happen

Wrote the latter around two years ago, around the age of 19, and finally got around to putting some finishing touches on it. Thoughts are always welcome!
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Re: Timi's Thread

Post  Lurex on Wed May 13, 2015 12:38 am

i've listened to them both now and i'll write up my big critique later today, but i just wanted to say you should fix up the drums on I've Seen it Happen real quick. They're clipping real bad and it's fucking with my speakers and really hurts to hear.

other than that, great job! review incoming.
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Re: Timi's Thread

Post  Nick Drake on Wed May 13, 2015 1:05 am

There is something about this site and people named Timi.
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Re: Timi's Thread

Post  Lurex on Wed May 13, 2015 1:08 am

Nick Drake wrote:There is something about this site and people named Timi.
that's because he's made too many fucking accounts
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Re: Timi's Thread

Post  Nick Drake on Wed May 13, 2015 1:09 am

The Great Lurex wrote:
Nick Drake wrote:There is something about this site and people named Timi.
that's because he's made too many fucking accounts
How many? I've seen two or three.
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Re: Timi's Thread

Post  Nick Drake on Wed May 13, 2015 1:10 am

Is this "the" Timi or is this just an imposter?
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Re: Timi's Thread

Post  Private Perineum on Wed May 13, 2015 1:13 am

An imposter. Crying or Very sad
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Re: Timi's Thread

Post  Nick Drake on Wed May 13, 2015 1:14 am

Austere McNugget wrote:An imposter. Crying or Very sad
I still love you man. Plus, if you ask me, it's better that you're an imposter.
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Re: Timi's Thread

Post  Lurex on Wed May 13, 2015 1:38 am

disclaimer: excuse me if i'm harsh.  unlike anybody else i'd critique, i'm going to hold you to a professional standard.  keep in mind it's because i respect you and know what you can do and want to see you reach and exceed expectations.

also i won't give you shit about the recording, cause thats out of your control.

you've got a good backing band, they seem to know their stuff and they have a really cool sound, both bright and smokey; it's very chillax and modern sound in that regard.  yet they have moments where they sound like a softer sabbath (1:48 in At 6's and 7's is one of the instrumentals shining moments, and there's another similar moment in I've Seen it Happen).  the guitar solo around the 2:30 mark in 6's & 7's, if coupled with a synth solo, would make a great modern dance pop track rendeer .  can't say i'm too fond of the direction it goes after that, but that's just due to my personal musical preferences.  goes from being a really interesting blend of genres to having this odd ascending proto punk riff with the muffled vocals.  however, it jumps back in for an epic climax which makes up for that odd breakdown/bridge(?).  i also appreciate that you didn't use a fadeout, cause that's straight up cop-out pussy shit.  I've Seen it Happen has an interesting progression and a really happy sound, so floaty and free (which your big ethereal harmonies helped convey).  i actually fucking love this track, and i hate that the bad recording of the drum is ruining it for me, but i won't hold that against you.  this would make a great ending to an album IMO.  it sounds like a happy conclusion to a lot of shit and coming to terms with your situation in life (based on the music and the lyrics).  then the key change with the synth made me happy  cyclops and i wanted more of that, i kind of wish you didnt go back to the normal song after that and had instead ended it in that weird tonality since it seemed to portend that something else entirely was coming.  instead it stuck to a pretty standard structure, returning to the status quo after that bridge, which is a shame because mixing it up like that wouldve been a cool way to shake off the repetitive structure of the tunes.  nonetheless, i thought it was a nice simple tune.

first off: your performance
i'm not sure if you recorded this live or vocals separate, but my first tip would be to relax.  sometimes, you sound great.  yet every now and then a line comes and it sounds like you didn't anticipate it -- forgot to breath or something.  it ends up pinched and sloppy, and sounding way too bright/immature and doesn't match the backing track.  a lot of your highest notes, which couldve been powerful (which i know because ive heard you sing these same notes perfectly) ended up being anticlimactic because you lost the weight and sounded thin within the mix of the song.  but you also have times when your voice sounds totally ready; and it kicks fucking ass.  in this regard, I've Seen it Happen was much better than 6's and 7's.  i cannot compliment those harmonies enough.  the light, easy harmonies; the soaring high notes; the beautiful and relaxed tone that chilled out the whole groove and commanded the listeners attention.  that track came together well with the vocals, and you can really hear how driven the track is by the melody.  for 6's and 7's, it was a bit more disjointed.  it felt like the vocal and the track were two separate things, almost like an odd karaoke performance.  it fit fine at some points, and at others it would sound completely disconnected from the feel of the music -- theye just weren't syncing up.  it wasn't an issue of rhythm, it was the emotion, the inflection, and the mostly the fullness/thinness that took away from the otherwise nice melody.  moments that seemed big in the instrumental were sometimes weak in the vocal -- i'm not asking for rance allen, but an emotive E4 can be more powerful than a strong A4.  also, don't be afraid to go crazy and lose control instead of tightening up and keeping it clean.  at 4:13 in I've Seen it Happen, I would've loved that last "You're learning to fly" to be full Jim Morrison style "YOURE LEARNING TO FLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAYYYY" screams, straight from the gut with wild passion -- a final cry of freedom to show that you really mean what you say.  i liked the way you sang that song, but more dynamics will always improve your songs.  between all the times a line gets repeated in a song, its good to let the audience know youre not a machine by mixing it up a little and doing it a bit different each time.

ok, now the writing
I've Seen It Happen is a fucking cool song yo.  both musically, lyrically, and melodically, i see a progression -- by the end of the song i feel like i've been on a journey, that i started somewhere and ended somewhere else.  also fuck yeah those light "ooos" gave me a major hard on.  the verses are catchy af IMO.  the lyrics are clever (despite half of them being descriptive nonsense Laughing ).  this is such an interesting track that i wouldn't dare give you shit about the way it's set up since each part flows into the other so nicely, this bitch is cohesive as fuck and it really has that feel great tracks get when they just come together so perfectly, as if each part was always meant to be together.  I FUCKING LOVED THAT SYNTH SOLO AND EVERYTHING THAT WAS GOING ON THERE WHY DID YOU HAVE TO CUT IT SHORT YOU SHOULDVE ENDED IT ON THAT IT WAS SO COOL.  THAT SHIT WOULDVE BEEN SO FUCKING TIGHT AS AN OUTRO, ENDING ON THAT HUGE AS CRASH AND MAYBE A GONG OR SOME SHIT.  although i do wish the chorus on this song was more apparently different from the verses, like i said, i won't consider it a negative because i don't really think it's meant to be that typical pop ideal of the verse and chorus being very separate and distinct.  the lyrics on this are beautiful sounding.  that being said, i have no fucking clue what it's about, but that's ok.  some poetry is beautiful for the thoughts behind them, and some poetry is just beautiful - putting words together is an art itself.  it all sounds nice, so i don't really give a damn if it's nonsense because i wouldn't have it any other way.  6&7, however, suffers from this.  i can't really decipher what's behind the song, and i also think a few of the phrases were awkwardly worded.  and like before, the chorus and verses are not clear which in the case of this song i feel does the song disservice because i could imagine going hard as fuck to this song but it never delivers.  there's a constant build up and then ultimate failure to reach the exciting high-energy drive i want from it.  i feel like both songs have a similar composition, but for one it works fucking beautifully and the other it holds back from being a clear track.  if i were you i'd treat each track from a fresh mind as if it were your first time writing a song, and approach it in ways you've never done before -- each song is unique, and has it's own needs, so just because something works for one song doesnt mean it will for the next or vice versa.  but still, at the end of the day they both show a proficiency for smooth lyrical concepts and competent songwriting skills.

cool stuff man. idk what else to say and i forgot some stuff but i'm done now :^)
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Re: Timi's Thread

Post  Private Perineum on Wed May 13, 2015 2:41 am

The Great Lurex wrote:disclaimer: excuse me if i'm harsh.  unlike anybody else i'd critique, i'm going to hold you to a professional standard.  keep in mind it's because i respect you and know what you can do and want to see you reach and exceed expectations.

Wow, thanks a bunch for writing such a detailed piece of critique, I really appreciate the time and the actual interest on the music. The greatest way to keep on improving.

The Great Lurex wrote:i actually fucking love this track, and i hate that the bad recording of the drum is ruining it for me, but i won't hold that against you.

The actual quality of the recorded drums is actually quite alright, but for some reason Soundcloud decided to fuck up the quality... Banghead Trying to fix the problem all the time!

The Great Lurex wrote:first off: your performance
i'm not sure if you recorded this live or vocals separate, but my first tip would be to relax.  sometimes, you sound great.  yet every now and then a line comes and it sounds like you didn't anticipate it -- forgot to breath or something.

That's a good point and something I'm actually working on. I like to preserve the small bits of rawness in between for the sake of 'capturing my current vocal prowess', but there's certain lines that certainly bring out a bit more stressfulness as opposed to others. (Most likely due to tougher phrasing)

The Great Lurex wrote:the lyrics are clever (despite half of them being descriptive nonsense Laughing ).

the lyrics on this are beautiful sounding.  that being said, i have no fucking clue what it's about, but that's ok.  some poetry is beautiful for the thoughts behind them, and some poetry is just beautiful - putting words together is an art itself.  it all sounds nice, so i don't really give a damn if it's nonsense because i wouldn't have it any other way.

Laughing I certainly aimed for a very creative approach on the lyrics, something that Cornell's probably influenced me to do a great deal. (Due to his own attempts at space-y lyrics and whatnot) With that said, all the lines on "I've Seen It Happen" do have a clear meaning/story behind them in my mind, I just wanted to write it in a way that's not easily decipherable. "At Sixes And Sevens" does hold a meaning behind it as well, but it's certainly a lot more peculiar, and I guess I sort of aimed for that. I'm aiming to simplify my approach in some of the aspects of the writing, to try to bring in more catchiness and accessibility (without losing the edge or the soul), but these were certainly fun to create.

Once again, really appreciate the comment. Smile It's the well-detailed critique that makes you think and consider out of the box. As a thank you, I'll share you an exclusive look at the harmony track/the backing ambience I created for "I've Seen It Happen", you might find it interesting!

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1aRG8nhUH0e (Picosong is bugging again. Sad )
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Re: Timi's Thread

Post  Private Perineum on Wed May 13, 2015 2:41 am

Nick Drake wrote:
Austere McNugget wrote:An imposter. Crying or Very sad
I still love you man. Plus, if you ask me, it's better that you're an imposter.

... Laughing
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Re: Timi's Thread

Post  Lurex on Wed May 13, 2015 2:53 am

Austere McNugget wrote:http://vocaroo.com/i/s1aRG8nhUH0e (Picosong is bugging again. Sad )


never realized there was so much bass in those harmonies. and also a fighter jet and a steam powered locomotive hahaha.

also what the fuck that last harmony bit was something straight out of Number 9 Laughing
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Re: Timi's Thread

Post  Ryugen on Wed May 13, 2015 3:02 am

Austere McNugget wrote:Two of the latest originals recorded with one of my bands:

http://soundcloud.com/the-collides/at-sixes-and-sevens
http://soundcloud.com/the-collides/ive-seen-it-happen

Wrote the latter around two years ago, around the age of 19, and finally got around to putting some finishing touches on it. Thoughts are always welcome!

Who does your mixes? They aren't balanced when I listen on my studio monitors. Everything would sound much better if they were mixed better.
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Re: Timi's Thread

Post  Private Perineum on Wed May 13, 2015 5:32 am



For giggles, something totally different: one of the bands I'm in, for whom I sing and play synth for. Our album will be released within few months and I can assure there'll be some great music for the fans of bizarre and extreme! Popcorn
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Re: Timi's Thread

Post  Private Perineum on Tue Jun 23, 2015 10:42 pm



A recent live performance with one of the bands I'm in! Good times, good times.
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Re: Timi's Thread

Post  Shikkaku on Wed Jun 24, 2015 2:33 am

For how many bands you're singing/playing?
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Re: Timi's Thread

Post  Princesszolli Demi on Wed Jun 24, 2015 3:47 am

Austere McNugget wrote:

A recent live performance with one of the bands I'm in! Good times, good times.
You sure do love your Patton influence, don't you?
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Re: Timi's Thread

Post  Private Perineum on Thu Jun 25, 2015 4:09 pm

Shikkaku wrote:For how many bands you're singing/playing?

Around four at the moment, as well as making collaborations.
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