(This Tune) One Of Those Songs [Original Song]

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(This Tune) One Of Those Songs [Original Song]

Post  DDDiego on Thu Jul 03, 2014 5:52 am

eugh, the Original Songs section is so hidden from the rest of the forum... it used to be so fun..

I've written around 10 songs in the last months I haven't felt really convinced of 100% (cause of the lyrics), I wrote this one yesterday and I liked it a lot. As usual I recorded it only acoustically and one take cause I don't have the "technological tools" to do better :s

https://soundcloud.com/diego-a-m/this-tune-one-of-those-songs-original-song

I would love some feedback from you guys!! Smile

Spoiler:
i should probably be worrYing ‘bout how much i’m making
but the things i’m writing lately make nO sense
take some inspiration from what’s on the radio
what the dj’s playing really soUnds like shit
the club is almosT empty and it’s early hours
but that girl is dancing like sHe’s all alone
you really shOuld be worrying ‘cause it’s not my problem
if she’s leaving now with another boy

all i just wanted was to write one of those songs
that make a girl take her boyfriend to dance
and then the slacker feels so bad,
the pretty girl has jUst skipped to the next
it’s not my fault she finds this tune is just exactly what she needs
she plays it on repeat

i should probably be followinG some kind of guidance
and the rules of karma and some brotHers’ code
i can’T seem to force myself to really bother
if you really don’t and it improves mY songs
the club is at its fullest and yOu’re full of drinking
and yoU’re full of bullshit and full of regret

you really sHould be worrying cause it’s not my problem
if she’s leAving now for what you ain’t done yet

all i just wanteD was to write one of those songs
that MakE A girL take her boyfriend to dance
and then the sLacker Feels so bad,
the pretty gIrl has just skipped to the next
it’s not my fault she finds this tune is just exactly what she needs
she plays me on repeat

she Goes home with me. she’ll press play to me
she presses on repeat. this song ends abruptly

did i jUst write one of those songs
that make the giRls take their boyfriends to dance?
and all the slackErs feel so baD
the pretty girls have just skipped tO the next?
it’s not their fault they find this tune is jUst exactly what they need
they play it on repeat

she goes home with me. she drives home with me
she dances to me. she’ll press play To me
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Re: (This Tune) One Of Those Songs [Original Song]

Post  Lurex on Thu Jul 03, 2014 7:18 am

i love how avant garde your songs are! the words dont rhyme, or fit, nor do they make sense.  there's no rhythm and the instrumentation is just you mashing up and down on your guitar - very fresh.  there isn't any melody, which doesn't matter too much, because you don't sing on pitch anyway.  keep reinventing the wheel!
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Re: (This Tune) One Of Those Songs [Original Song]

Post  DDDiego on Thu Jul 03, 2014 7:24 am

LUREX wrote:i love how avant garde your songs are!  the words dont rhyme, or fit, nor do they make sense.  there's no rhythm and the instrumentation is just you mashing up and down on your guitar - very fresh.  there isn't any melody, which doesn't matter too much, because you don't sing on pitch anyway.  keep reinventing the wheel!
I had forgotten how much you hated me for no reason whatsoever... but mk.
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Re: (This Tune) One Of Those Songs [Original Song]

Post  boob on Thu Jul 03, 2014 8:58 am

Maybe he's tone deaf.

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Re: (This Tune) One Of Those Songs [Original Song]

Post  Young Heroins on Thu Jul 03, 2014 9:26 am

DIEGO I WILL RESPOND TO YOUR ORIGINAL SONG WHEN YOU RESPOND TO THE GOD DAMN WALL OF SINCERE ADVICE THAT I GAVE YOU TO FIX 100% OF YOUR VOCAL PROBLEMS.  I AM SURE YOU APTLY DID NOT TAKE ANY OF IT TO HEART IF BENJI CRITICIZED THE COVER SO DICKISHLY RIGHT FROM THE START.  NO HE DOESN'T HATE YOU, HE HATES YOUR INABILITY TO GROW AS A MUSICIAN DUE TO WHATEVER THE HELL THE REASON.
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Re: (This Tune) One Of Those Songs [Original Song]

Post  DDDiego on Thu Jul 03, 2014 10:57 am

Hey mickey.i did saw your comment and advice. And believe it or not i am doing those exercises you gave me. I just didn't have time to answer you. I have time now cause i was late to an appointment , sorry for that. I thought this song was OK, specially for my traditional one take recording and i love giving and recueving feedback but some of you just can't be serious about it... and that bumps me more than hearing an honest "this was shit" tbh.

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Re: (This Tune) One Of Those Songs [Original Song]

Post  Aníbal on Thu Jul 03, 2014 11:06 am

Diego, you're way out of tune, try to work that  Confused 
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Re: (This Tune) One Of Those Songs [Original Song]

Post  Lurex on Thu Jul 03, 2014 1:34 pm

inb4 dddiego abandons thread and quits TRP because the criticism has merit
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Re: (This Tune) One Of Those Songs [Original Song]

Post  DDDiego on Thu Jul 03, 2014 3:20 pm

LUREX wrote:inb4 dddiego abandons thread and quits TRP because the criticism has merit
You'd like that don't you... I can't post as I did before cause I'm busier these days but if I did I wish there was a way to ban you from my threads, cause I'm not leaving Wink
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Re: (This Tune) One Of Those Songs [Original Song]

Post  Young Heroins on Thu Jul 03, 2014 3:33 pm

How did you not have time to respond to me but you had time to write a song and post it on here?   Cringe


Last edited by Pre-Kepp Heroins on Thu Jul 03, 2014 3:53 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: (This Tune) One Of Those Songs [Original Song]

Post  Lurex on Thu Jul 03, 2014 3:39 pm

cause he makes these things in a few minutes and doesnt even read what he wrote
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Re: (This Tune) One Of Those Songs [Original Song]

Post  DDDiego on Thu Jul 03, 2014 4:02 pm

Pre-Kepp Heroins wrote:How did you not have time to respond to me but you had time to write a song and post it on here?   Cringe
I wrote it yesterday on my way to work and recorded around this hour when I got home, then before I left home I uploaded it while I was prepping myself, and posted it here.
btw, it's midnight here.
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